What's in a Name?

It's been just over a year since I married the man of my dreams. He's loving, caring, smart, hot beyond all reason, and a great listener. It has been, by far, the most fulfilling and rewarding year of my life.

(every married person is laughing right now, noticing I didn't say easiest)

His family is wonderful too. From a remarkably young age I had vivid nightmares of my future panning out similarly to the first half of "Monster-In-Law." The nightmares started before the movie was even released. That's how vivid my pictures of my groom's mother trying to sabotage my wedding was.

I could not have been more wrong!

My MIL is a home-cooking, Renee-loving, saint with a great sense of humor. I heart her.

She warned me, when Mr. Awesome and I were engaged, that I would be spelling my new last name for the rest of my life. Apparently it's one of those names that no one can get right. I laughed. My maiden name was the exact same way. I've literally heard dozens of variations of my name. Possibly hundreds. I am not intimidated simply because I have to spell my name. I was excited to take his name.

Today I was thinking what an beautiful tradition it is for a woman to take her husband's name. I know it's been an entire year that I've been signing credit card slips and typing it on emails, but sometimes it still hits me that I have a completely new identity.

And I really like it. I feel like a part of his identity is always with me.

I know there are some women out there that feel like this tradition is antiquated and counter-productive to gender equality. I'm not even going to discuss the latter point here, because that is an entirely different rant. (brief excerpt of said rant: I don't want to be equal to a man, I aspire to be a pretty great woman. There's an amazing book I once read called Fight Like a Girl, written by a wonderfully strong lady I know. She tackles this issue very well. If you want to be excited about femininity, read it! Please forgive the plug and the digression.)

I don't feel like this tradition is something that should be stricken from the record of modern society. It's beautiful and symbolic. Sorry if you think it's antiquated. (Hello, it is a tradition, please explain to me where traditions are supposed to be progressive?)

For me it was a tangible way to separate from my family and establish my own household with my new husband. It made me feel like I was a part of him. It was one of many small things that bound our hearts together as husband and wife.

It also is a vulnerable gesture, when a man offers his name to his bride. That means, not only is he trusting her with his heart, but he's trusting her with his lineage. He's offering that you join with his past, and step into his future as his partner. I don't think we make a big enough deal about lineage now-a-days. Modern society would do well to remember the generations that have gone before them, and honor them. Names like Anderson, Johnson and Williamson all come from people identifying themselves as from the family of Anders, John or William. That kind of honor has all but disappeared in our culture.

So why can't he take your name? Why can't you offer that he join your family heritage? Hate to pull the Jesus-Card, but marriage is still a representation of Christ and the Church. And Jesus, sure as heck, isn't taking my name. His is better anyways.

I'm not saying it's wrong to hyphenate. I'm not saying it's wrong to keep your last name. I'm just saying it's an incredible honor to have someone give you their family name. When women look at it as a form of bondage or as a loss of their identity, it makes me sad. It's not a loss. It's an incredible step into intimacy.